a sister by choice

I don't think most sisters first meet each other on LinkedIn, but it so happens that we did..... Well that's my side of the story. She says we hung out as toddlers and met once while we were teenagers, but I don't remember nun of dat, so I say we met on LinkedIn. Thank you very much.

My birthday was a couple months prior, and I decided that I wanted to try a knack at acting... again. My first audition I had in a long time went pretty well. I got a large part in a play I really wanted to be in, and rehearsal every night of the week was everything I could have dreamed of. Scripts to memorize, a character to delve into, parties to attend, tons of encouragement from my college professors, and a vibrant social life that started to take off... it all seemed too good to be true. And it was. I was depressed. Manic and impulsive at times. It wasn't good. This artistic endeavor wasn't all that it seemed to be. Just a distraction from the war waging inside me, tearing my mind to shreds.

Ding! A LinkedIn message. I don't use that platform. A little too professional for a creative (what was I thinking?). DELETE. Ding! Ding! Who the heck is contacting me? Leave me alone. Ding! Begrudgingly, I finally open the message. It's from a girl named Paris Bennett... Hm?... Sounds familiar... Isn't she my sister?

Yes, she is. But, we weren't granted the opportunity to grow up with each other. Multiple familial choices kept us apart, and we lived separated lives with our separate siblings in our separate homes. Our lives just didn't cross paths until she made the choice to keep messaging me until I answered. I wasn't that trusting. I didn't know why she wanted to contact me. We were adults with our own, separate lives at this point. What would this relationship do for me at this point? Not in a malicious way, even though asking that question can come off that way. But truly, what did it matter?

We are related by blood, yes. But, not all families decide to stick together. Also, not all families are bound by blood. Other families decide to adopt others into their own. And some don't get any families at all... I have family members who have left me - a father. I have had others that decided to take me in as their own - a father. I have siblings who I grew up with, but they all look different than me and they have the same DNA. Yet, we are all close. What does family mean if I am given the chance to choose?

I didn't know. But, I decided to let her in.

It's been three years now. I shouldn't go into all that we have been through together because I am learning that some bonds are sacred. Those ones should be held safe, protected from the outside. But I'll share what I have learned.

If we all took a moment to sit in silence and think about what we are about to do, we know what will happen. There is only so many options that could probably occur. We all know the consequences of the actions we take, and the biggest lesson I have learned is that everyone knows what they are doing to you. The choice you make with your free will indicate what is important to you.

Your family should choose you.

Choosing someone requires the effort to understand someone and to nurture their potential. They understand your desires, insecurities, fears, and ambitions. Family roots for you - but not in a cheering, superficial way. They lay the groundwork of support and resources available for you to be successful.

Paris has done that for me. And if anything, I have learned to move forward because of her. She is so calm. Laidback. Chill. Free... Free in mind.

She was exactly who I needed when she came into my life. Her serene approach to life is rooted in her efforts towards the things she wants, backed by faith in God. I'm not that religious, but life can't beat someone who has faith. I look up to her. I strive to have faith like her.

Thank you for choosing me.