guts with eric andre

I took a little hiatus because I have cried every day since last Thursday. Today as well. Laughter and happiness have not allowed me to feel their joy, or rather... I have not allowed myself to feel them. Bits and pieces of delight came from my man, but I was still lonely... Slowly. Surely. I am losing. More and more. of my mind...

But instead of funneling into a polluted whirlpool of absolute nothingness, I found Eric Andre.

I cannot remember the last time I laughed until I couldn't breathe and tears brimmed my eyes. Instead of happiness and laughter, I experienced euphoria but only for a moment. It was beautiful. It was what I needed right now. It gave me comfort. Not only because it was hilarious, but because it was absurd. The mania, the craziness was what I needed to appreciate right now.

Everything in my life has been crazy, and everybody else calls me crazy. The way I act is "not normal". The things that I like are not typical. My way of interacting with the world is quirky and cute. I don't necessarily know why I am the way I am, and I can't figure out why people think that I am weird. The things I do, the things I say make sense to me. I don't understand why people are the way they are. Boring. Why are people boring? Why are people so much of a convention that I decide to avoid them because I probably just met them in Stop & Shop. And why I am considered crazy - why not passionate? Or interested in the obscene? Or appreciative of the darkness that can surround the world? Why does it cost so much to think for myself.

I don't know. I don't care as much. People will call me crazy until the end of time. But when I see Eric Andre doing wonderful absurdist humor, it gives me comfort and it makes me laugh.

Here is a wonderful interview where he goes into depth about himself. Not just the absurdity, but a little bit of the crazy too.