the fool

I do not believe in tarot, oracle, lenormand, or other objects pertaining to esoterica; however, I do own quite a few. Today, I have been cleaning out my room to go onto my next chapter of life, but I feel a great resistance to the idea of giving these objects away. I haven't opened them in several years, but they offer a sense of comfort. The artwork is beautiful and enchanting, and you can interpret the cards in so many different ways. They offer no practical use. I can't tell the future with them. I can't find out what other people are thinking with them. I can't change the present with them. I don't know what I can possibly do with them. But I do know that whenever I pull them out of their dusty cases, I can see some part of myself in them. I look at all of the cards, and I see 78 different possibilities of myself.

Today, I decided to crack open a deck gifted to me by a roommate, and I pulled out the fool. It's the zero-eth card, not the first. It's beautiful. It depicts a young lad about to go off an adventure, but he is unknowingly about to fall off a cliff because he is looking at the sun.

I think a lot of people have big dreams but have no idea where they are going. At least for myself, I know that I have all these aspirations, but when it comes to the steps to getting there, I have no clue what is in the right direction. I am constantly taking steps somewhere, but I can't see that much farther. It sends me down a spiral of questions. Is this direction right? Is this decision worth it? Will I regret this choice...? I know that I have never regretted a choice that I made, only choices I have not made... But also, I have never made a decision where the whole world could possibly see every mistake I make along the way. Maybe that is what the world needs. Everyone only sees everyone else's highlight reels. This blog can be a highlight reel and a blooper outtake. I like reading those type of things. But what do I know? Whatever. I'll keep packing up my things to take onto my next adventure.

And hopefully to better writing skills...